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GQ put together a list for the men- 35 truths about marriage. There are some gems in there, for example:

No. 4- Say this in a love note “the moon lives in the lining of your skin- pablo neruda”

No. 5- Don’t say this in a love note “I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in  your lovely body- Neruda too”

I guess say that if you want to sound like one of those people who’ve been abusing bath salts recently and becoming all cannibalistic, eating people’s faces and whatnot. But i digress.

No 34- you’ll be tempted to get a little too dependent. you may become one of those that cant operate outside your marriage, stopped playing soccer with your friends on Saturday morning, and slowly, can’t remember how your friends look like, or how to use the washing machine. Giving up on your old self completely is tempting. Don’t do it.

On the other hand, No. 35- the dependency is beautiful and important. “And yes, terrifying. But what’s more terrifying: giving yourself over to someone so completely, or never letting go at all?”

Very wise words, but very hard to draw the line between 34 and 35, and I believe it’s a very thin line. Some people slowly slip into the over-dependency camp without realising it, and one day wake up to realise they no longer recognise the person in the mirror. At the same time, what’s the point of being with a partner if you can’t rely/depend on them- But how do you really evaluate where you stand, and how often do we have to check on ourselves? I don’t have the answers so if you do, drop me a line.

Finally, this is one of the most important truths of all: No 23- you’ll learn that her feelings are real! (with an exclamation point)

You’re going to think, from time to time, that your wife is crazy. The only reason we don’t realize that most people are crazy is that we’re not married to most people. But here’s the key: Don’t tell her she’s crazy. Not only that: Stop thinking she’s crazy. Treat her irrational feelings as rational, because that’s how they feel to her. It’s called compassion. And marriage is one of the few ways we ever really learn it.

Now, i say amen to that. I love GQ, this is one of the many reasons why.

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A couple of days back I was having brunch at a a nice cafe/restaurant, one of those that seem to attract many families with little ones in tow. At the table next to mine sat a lady with two daughters, probably about 7-9 years old. I wondered where her husband was. She looked distant, perhaps he was away on a business trip. At first it seemed hard to tell if she was their mother, as their conversations sounded like that between equals, and not of a typical parent-child relationship. They were free to order as many cupcakes as they wanted, eat whatever, and however much they cared to devour. But what caught my attention immediately was that the mother was sipping a glass of white wine at lunch, and then ordered another promptly after she was done. At which point one of her daughters said:

“You cannot drink too much, if not you can’t drive us home!”

Then I realised, If i ever have kids, there is a high chance that I may become just like the lady, dragging my daughters around for brunch and having prosecco for my first meal. Well at least I hope I would treat my daughters the way she did, talking to them as adults instead of talking down to them.

How was your weekend?

I celebrated an old and dear friend’s birthday. We finally found a good Sichuan restaurant that’s worth a visit if you’re in Singapore. They didn’t seem to understand what cabbage was, but other than that, the food was authentic fiery mouth-numbing Sichuan goodness.
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Besides setting my mouth on fire and enjoying it very thoroughly, the rest of the weekend was pretty chill, spent relaxing in bed at home and catching up with shows, like current favourite Game of Thrones. I recently also started watching Ringer (a warped slightly unbelievable story about two twin sisters and changing identities, murder, betrayals etc), which isn’t one of the best shows around but the plot is sufficiently engaging and thrilling. To be honest, getting sucked into their fictional warped lives and plotting is a good therapy and escape from mine.

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Another dear friend also sent me this postcard, hand delivered from London. If it isn’t clear enough, it’s a picture of a giganormous pigeon on the top of the pillar at Trafalgar’s Square in London. She writes:

I couldn’t resist when I saw this postcard, it reminded me of when we threatened to tie you to Nelson’s column in Trafalgar Square and leave you to the horrid pigeons

Yup, my friends know me TOO well. pigeons are my kryptonite, i took a picture of her postcard only because i think i may destroy the actual thing one day after forgetting about it and then finding it lying around my house and freak out at the pigeon.

Anyway, to help with the sunday night blues, here’s a parody on the Hunger Games- “The Hipster Games, may the trends be ever in your favour”.